Mr. Average - The measure of the man

Questionable Advice

Not actually weird, but it's a bit off topic, so I've hidden it away in here.

Here are a few items of valuable advice for penis owners:

1: Take your socks off first.
Just remember this one simple piece of advice and you can't go far wrong. After that everything else is simple.

Not in my hair!!2:"I'm coming!".
It's always a good idea to warn a girl, to avoid any problems it might cause. At that moment you won't care, but she might think:

"Aghh, not on my parents settee/carpet/bed/curtains/cat."
"Aghh, maybe I'm not 100% sure about the contraceptive arrangements."
"Aghh, you promised you wouldn't come in my mouth/hair/handbag."

3: Squeaky Clean.
If you are likely to be entertaining a young lady, get out the cleaning products. First your home, then yourself. A well scrubbed you and a clean bathroom, will impress. Girls have been known to spontaneously orgasm on finding fresh sheets in a bed.

4: Ladies First.
Always. There is no exception to this rule.
In fact it's best to only come when you are told to.

Tied up at the moment5: Kinky.
People have very different ideas about what is sexy and a couple have to find out which kinks they have in common. The main factor when introducing new games to the bedroom is preparation; there should be very few surprises. So you do have to talk about it and negotiate. Browsing a sex toys shop together can be fun and very enlightening, because it's somebody else making the suggestions.

A look of horror and a NO, should be backed away from and never mentioned again. Anything else is worth a try. Just be playful and don't take it too seriously. You can always have a look at the 'Weird' side of this site.
Go on, it could be fun, but remember to always take your socks off first.

6: Babies.
Babies are what happen if you have sex. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Condoms are good for limiting the numbers, but they are not a truly reliable contraceptive. Even when used carefully you will still get a baby at some point (on average). Normally at the most inconvenient point.
If 100% reliable is important, either the girl must be conscientiously taking an oral contraceptive, or just don't put it in there. Don't be fooled by the stuff, lager is not a contraceptive.

7: Wanker.
Masturbation is a very private thing and so extra naughty and exciting when your partner lets you watch. That's the hint, give it a try.

8: Be Prepared.
In your bedroom always have to hand anything that you might need. Running around the house to try and find the tissues/condoms/lube/batteries/costume, will kill the mood.

Over compensating9: Mr. < Average.
Remember many women do prefer a man with a smaller penis. The normal reasons given are that these men are more attentive and imagianative, but more importantly they drive much more impressive cars.

10: Do Your Exercises.
That's your pelvic floor exercises as shown on this page. They are very simple, if boring, but help in every way with improving erections.

Please use the feedback form if you have wisdom to share.
Comment linkPlease Click Here
To send comments and feedback about this site.